Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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