He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
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Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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