If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize