And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
