how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
