Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
