they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The uberlube is also flammable
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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