I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
