Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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