I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.