i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake