it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.