I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?