She announced her abortion via fbk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night