I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
