I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize