Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize