so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
