So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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