I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pants are for mortals
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
