I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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