The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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