my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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