GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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