Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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