I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize