mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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