brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
