She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
