just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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