Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
