capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
accomplished twins. life is a go
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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