I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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