There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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