So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
