it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
