Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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