The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
