Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
