Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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