I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
