This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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