I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
sex in a hospital.. check
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
