Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
