he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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