i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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