You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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