dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
