btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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