R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
