Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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