And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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