i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
okay pat passed out under dana's car
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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