Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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