A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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