Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said her name was "party"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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