my vag is so smooth its legendary
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
