oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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